The doctor’s office calls to give you the news you dreaded – Cancer. But don’t worry we can treat it – let’s start you next week on a strong chemo treatment and let’s see how you do. You should feel safe and secure in knowing an expert in the field of cancer is on your side or is he?
The chemo starts and within days you’re hugging a bucket with the nausea so hitting hard. Then when you have the strength to take a shower the drain is suddenly clogged with your hair. Your nails crumble and your skin feels so dry you want to invest in the skin cream company as you slather on gobs of cream giving you little to no relief.
The scan results show the dreaded – metastases. But don’t worry we will try something else – let’s start you on the chemo cocktail right away. Good news is that the original tumor shrank so something worked. You should feel the doctor is aiming to cure you but is he?
The next rounds begin and you don’t remember if it is Monday or Friday; you are asleep more than awake and all your sick days at work are used up. Time to take a leave of absence from work, just until this cancer treatment kicks in or is it that you are feeling it has kicked you hard and knocked you down. Is that good or bad?
For the nausea they gave you a prescription that gave you a rash but the prescription for the rash helped but that made you tired, being a bit more tired was not noticed because you’re so weakened by the nausea and not eating that extra fatigue wasn’t even noticed. Who cares if you lost your hair – bald is beautiful the nurse says – well she must be nuts – why does it look like she just had her hair styled – why didn’t she pick bald. You’re so tired going out in public is marathon adventure. You didn’t want to eat but the nausea medication works for a while but now the latest side effect is loss of taste so who cares about food. The doctor says your doing great.
Okay so you say to yourself: Define great to me please. My life is a living hell, the cancer is going strong and I am getting weaker by the day – what is great about this scenario?
You take all the strength you got to see the doctor and you ask him – I don’t see this chemo working doc; what would you do it you had cancer? He avoids the question – so your friend that accompanies you asks the doctor – I read most doctors won’t do chemo if they had cancer so are you in the majority or would you be of the minority to do it? The doctor says – It’s hard to answer that question. Okay doc, you say, then tell me are you trying to kill me or the cancer? It’s growing strong and I am growing weak, got a answer for that?
More reports and more dreaded – metastases. Doctor calls to tell you he has arranged for hospice he is giving you three months, get your affairs together. You say – Doc you told me months ago not to worry that your chemo was going treat me, I trusted you ……. You hang up as a light goes on in your tired head.
Using most of your strength and part of your savings account you head off to find answers and hopefully some relief. You admit abandoning stereo typical ideas of treating cancer was not easy but facing hospice was a whole lot harder so now you are sitting with a bunch of strangers who all made that same decision, kick the chemo habit. Your getting tests that really show what’s happening – wow, your taking this teaspoon of serum and watching your tumors shrink – now that’s a wow, taking some supplements they tell me my body says it wants – hmm someone is listening to my body – a wow, then the lights go on, its time for some laser lights to zap the cells and tell the immune system my cancer cells are bad guys – PDT is a wow, organic diet, organic products; wow, no poisons, now this is what healing is made of you think. Holy wow its good to feel alive again.
You discover eating again and climbing stairs is no longer a marathon. The tumors are shrinking but better news is no new metastases. Your bald ugliness is being replaced by hair – wow – hair and you can use a comb again. You don’t need a bucket to puck in anymore so you can use it to toss all your old poison drugs into – and out to center to dispose them. Fast food restaurants you stop into to use the restrooms and you never think about getting in line.
It’s been six months your tests come back and there is nothing to dread. You learned cancer has a cause and environmental carcinogens are estimated to be responsible for 75-80% of cancer diagnosis and deaths in the US; now you’re doing something about it. You learned your immune system is like your heart, lungs or liver, without them or an immune system your dead. You think all that chemo almost had your immune system down to zero what on earth was your doctor thinking. Cancer is killed off when your immune system is working, not when it’s at near zero; what was he thinking? Or was he thinking?
You’re back to work and back to living again. Your annual tests are done and you get a call from your doctor. Doctor who? You say. He is surprised to see your report on his desk he thought you were dead – he gave you three months – that was a year ago at least. Yes you’re still alive and healthy you add. You say to him – doc you told me you would treat me with chemo – how on earth did you think you could heal me with poison? He says – it’s all we got. You tell him – then you got it all wrong, poison kills, can’t heal with poisons and doc you were killing me. The doctor is silent – but you break the silence and tell him, you said you had no answer when I asked you what you would do – well doc, I will answer the question for you – If you use chemo you’re a fool, if you don’t your proving your stupid or you’re deliberately poisoning us. You’re not on my side, you conclude.
There is silence and you click the phone off. You feel safe finally.