It’s been 7 years, nearly 8, since a piece of my heart was ripped out as my daughter died in my arms. Life moves on but the pain remains. You don’t want to revisit the ordeal that opens the wound in your heart, to be put back into the stress, the desperation, the inevitable ending that looms like a dark encroaching storm you know you will not survive. The wound I have so carefully bound with memories of love are quickly peeled back to reveal the ugliness of death; my heart pounds, the last sounds of her breathing, her last words I can hear and then that piercing silence of death.
Why would anyone make you go through this? They could have no empathy, only ulterior self-profiting, self- gaining motives could spawn such behavior.
Jesicha’s death, what caused it, could not be laid to rest within her grave. Her journey through the cancer system uncovered too much, her quest to discover what brought her to be a cancer patient, her questions that stayed unanswered, all the why’s and all the how’s that tumbled in her mind; everything was left unanswered, unsolved and I had pick up where she left off to continue her quest for all those answers. She cared about others and I knew when I found answers the world needed to hear them. Somewhere out there a thousand others are seeking the same and if just a few hear my answers then Jesicha did not die in vain.
Her quest became my quest, it is ongoing, the more I seek and find the more doors I find that need keys to open them. It is my quest too that makes a bit of her still reside; her job is continuing and I working it, gives me the opportunity to be part of her passion to help save others. I can live with this.
My mission to continue her passion not only opens doors for others to find answers but opens the gateway for the cruel, insensitive and demon minded men with a lust for tragedy and theoretical retribution. It is this that brings me today to revisit the pounding of my heart, the sight of the encroaching doom that lay inevitably ahead some nearly 8 years ago.
Part of my mission is to open doors to treatments that do no harm. Chemotherapy and radiation are poisons, they block the immune system, God’s healing power within us; using poisons is a contradiction to healing. Some treatments offer great potential, but they must live up to that potential and over time I will from experience modify my option list. Science is as accurate as can be until new ideas and theories emerge. Step into the conventional world where pharmaceuticals reign, where no one dares to look into the face of an oncologist, whose income is based on how much poison he can ‘sell’ to your loved one under the guise of loving and compassionate treatment; and tell him he has knowingly poisoned, and yes, killed your loved one. He is protected by the umbrella of every organization and agency bought and paid for by Big Pharma. Most people just leave it at that. Your loved one died of cancer. End of story move on.
But that is most people, some people like Jesicha, in her attempt to beat the odds and prove those words: ‘we did everything we could, there is nothing left, you will die,’ completely wrong. Riddled with cancer metastases, poisoned with chemotherapy drugs of various types, radiated and portions of the body cut and tossed; they turn from death’s eyes and look for hope. Jesicha’s story is not uncommon, each day someone comes to me with a similar story, my heart pours out empathy because I know their desperation. I have seen the cumulative effects of conventional treatments on the body; and I have seen what occurs when hopeful treatments do make an improvement. When doctors give you 0 percent of survival, do we expect the alternative treatments to give us 100 percent survival? Or are we honest with ourselves and know even a small percentage is our best hope? Jesicha told Dr Jimenez of Hope 4 Cancer if he gave her even 5-10 percent chance, she would be happy. She knew her odds. Her siblings may have wanted more, guarantees of success, but that is their desperation, not hers. The reality is the same for Jesicha as it is for everyone else going and doing alternative or do no harm treatments, the success lies in the damage to the body from cancer and all previous treatments. If the damage is too great the body will not survive. You can kill the cancer, you can stop infections but if the body is too damaged, too weak from the fight, it will succumb. Most doctors tell me due to all the unforeseen damages at best 50 percent will survive, the general rule is 30–40 percent, killing the actual cancer can be 50-70 percent, but it’s survival that we hold onto.
I could have, if I were demon minded and full of revenge, pointed my finger at Hope 4 Cancer claiming they failed her, and Dr Jimenez was guilty of preforming quackery treatments on Jesicha. But that would be unsubstantiated revenge. Most would likely give a pat on the back to an oncologist who had poisoned their loved one to death in the name of treatment, saying good job, you did all you could; why not tell the alternative specialist against all odds they did the best they could? This scenario plays out every day, across the globe at cancer centers, clinics and doctor offices; the reality of the cumulative effects is unknown, only God knows who will ultimately survive and who will not.
My mission is to keep seeking answers, to focus on all those that find hope through my findings and are part of the 50 percent that survive. Without opening doors, they would have been left with 0 percent from their oncologists. Isn’t Jesicha’s continued mission worthy of my efforts? When the pain of my loss, the pounding of my heart once again became so clear today, I hesitated, is the pain worth my efforts? Then the face of all those I have helped came to mind but more importantly all those that did not survive came to mind. It was their expression; it was their voices I heard without hearing that made me grasp my heart.
Recently I was approached by relatives or friends of people that did not survive from a couple of clinics, calling the clinics shams and demanding money from them. They asked me to help them. Reasoning with them with the reality of the truth has not dissuaded them. Bestowing blame on the weakest, most vulnerable they think it will give closure to those deaths. The bad will do bad things to good people. Today they ask me to contact all those I knew that I had died after alternative treatments were sought, to ask these families to write letters to authorities to shut down and imprison those who only tried to give that 50 percent of hope. How cruel, how demon minded to seek such unfounded revenge? Each of these loved ones has done as I, cried, grieved, held onto memories and covered their heart wounds, how could I ask them expose yet again their hole in their hearts? I immediately felt my wound open and felt that pain, that feeling of doom that overshadowed me, this is what they too would feel again; the faces, those silent words of their loved ones, ‘ don’t hurt them more, there is no blame’, and from Jesicha her silent words still haunt me: ‘They keep you tied to those tubes and burn you until nothing on earth can save you, not even alternative medicine. And that is how I died.’
My answer was no more pain. My mission is worthy of my efforts. The 50 percent survival is worth it. My pain revisited to stop others from ever feeling grief, is worth it. I know Jesicha will comfort me and as I glance out the window a dragonfly floats on heaven’s winds, my wound is soothed.
Jesicha’s Hope is founded on the belief that the answer to solving and curing a disease is not just possible but does exist and with hope we can find the great minds that have the answer hidden in exile somewhere safe. It is our continued quest to find these great minds and lead the way for the sick to find healing. www.jesichashope.org Find us on Facebook www.facebook.com/jesichashope.org or join a discussion: www.facebook.com/groups/alternativecancertreatments , ask us a question or need help firstname.lastname@example.org